Dads: Your teenage sons need you!

2026 – it is time that dads stepped up and played an integral part in the development of their teenage son’s life as the next 5 years or so are crucial. Mom has played her part until now, but it is now your time to be present and active and step forward.

What does this actually mean?

Recent research indicates the positive influence dad can have on their teenage sons’ lives, particularly in their overall development as they journey on that path to ideally being a good real man. The following are some of the key findings:

>Emotional Resilience: Dads teach emotional resilience by modelling healthy emotional expression, vulnerability, and empathy. Sons often look to their dads as role models, emulating their behaviours and responses to stress. A dad’s ability to demonstrate emotional strength and validate his son’s emotions helps build trust and encourages open communication;

>Social Skills: Dads influence their sons‘ social development by teaching problem -solving skills, conflict resolution, and empathy. Studies show that adolescents with engaged fathers tend to have better social connections and are more empathetic, and exhibit higher levels of positive social behaviour;

>Academic Success: Dad’s involvement in their children’s education is linked to higher academic performance, better results, and increased likelihood of entering university or further education and of finding stable employment. Children with supportive dads are more likely to develop a strong sense of emotional security, confidence, and independence;

> Mental Health: Dads play a critical role in supporting their son’s mental health by providing emotional support, guidance , and a stable relationship. Research suggests that dads’ involvement can lower the risk of depression, anxiety and substance abuse in adolescence;

> Role Modelling*: Dads serve as role models, demonstrating healthy relationships in particular the treatment of their mother and women in general, and teaching their sons about responsibility, accountability, and emotional regulation. By being actively involved [BE THERE!] in their sons’ lives, fathers can positively shape their sons’ beliefs, attitudes, and behaviours;

> Higher Self-Esteem: Boys with involved dads tend to have higher self-esteem and better emotional regulation;

> Reduced Risk of Behaviourial Problems: Boys with positive father-son relationships are less likely to develop anxiety, depression, aggressive behaviour and/or substance abuse

What are the possible implications if there is no dad or the dad is absent in his teenage son’s life?

POOR EDUCATIONAL ACHIEVEMENT
71% of high school dropouts are fatherless; fatherless children have more trouble academically, scoring poorly on tests of reading, mathematics, and thinking skills. Children from father-absent homes are more likely to be truant from school, more likely to be excluded from school, more likely to leave school at age 16, and less likely to attain academic and professional qualifications in adulthood

DRUG AND ALCOHOL ABUSE
75% in rehab. Fatherless children are at a dramatically greater risk of drug and alcohol abuse.

RESORT TO CRIME
85% of all youths in prison. Further research revealed that if the number of fathers is low in a neighbourhood, then there is an increase in acts of teen violence and more likely to have an association to gang culture.

YOUTH SUICIDE – 63%
HOMELESS & RUNAWAYS – 90%

INCREASED SEXUAL ACTIVITY AND TEENAGE PREGNANCY
Adolescents in father-absence homes were more likely to report being sexually active compared to adolescents living with their fathers.
[US DEPT OF HEALTH & HUMAN SERVICES, 2018] 

What are the most important things that a teenage boy require from his dad ?
·      He needs you as a ROLE MODEL
·      He needs you to LOVE him unreservedly
·      He needs you to AFFIRM him
·      He needs you to be present to BE THERE!
·      He needs you to discipline him in love
·      He needs to see you love his mother
·      He needs to see you fail and how you deal with failure
·      He needs to see your servant leadership
[Craig Wilkinson, 2020] 

In conclusion, we only get one chance with our sons, let’s make the most of it, so that we do not have any regrets.
·      Be there as a father AND a PARENT [You are not his friend! ]
·      Have meaningful relationship with your sons – talk with them
·      Have ritual time with your sons (do activities with them ]
·      Mentor him encourage, acknowledge and support
·      Keep to your promises – BE TRUSTWORTHY
·      Be a ROLE MODEL
·      Inform him of the boundaries and what the consequences are and keep to them
·      Be consistent
·      have a sense of humour – laugh with them

“ A father is someone to look up to when you don’t understand the way.”
Robert John Wood