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As a parent, it is natural to worry about the impact of social media on our teenage boy’s life. Social media can be a double-edged sword, offering opportunities for connection and self-expression while also posing risks to mental health, relationships, and even physical safety.
In today’s digital age, it is essential for parents to understand the potential threats of social media on their teenage boys and take proactive steps to ensure their online safety and well-being.
Some potential threats to consider:
By being aware of these risks and taking steps to mitigate them, we can help our teenage boys navigate the online world safely and responsibly.
At my former school, we were fortunate to host a presentation by Christy Herselman, founder of ‘The Chat’ and mother of twin boys and a daughter, for our boarding parents entitled #WellConnected. The talk focussed on helping parents cope in attempting to raise healthy digital children and it covered topics such as screen time, anxiety and depression, online danger and hostility, dopamine, addiction and porn, to name but a few.
A further presentation for parents and boys was entitled ‘#WellConnected: Raising men who are safe, wise and kind online’.
Parents and boys engaged in meaningful conversations about navigating the digital world with responsibility and integrity.
Just recently, I read an article by well-known teenage psychologist, Dr Cam Caswell, titled ‘Parents, we need to talk”.
The following is an extract from her post on Instagram:
The Netflix series Adolescence shows just how complex teen struggles really are: mental health, identity, disconnection, pressure, not just social media. Yet everywhere I turn, I see another frenzy about the dangers of tech. That bothers me. Not because social media isn’t a problem (it is), but because when we fixate only on one piece of the issue, we miss the bigger picture—and the chance for real change.
Jonathan Haidt’s The Anxious Generation makes a powerful case for the need for more real-life connection, play, and independence to counteract the negative impact of tech. Which is why simply taking tech away is not going to resolve the problem. The hard truth is that there will always be a new threat around the corner more powerful than the last. Parents once thought video games were the worst of it, then came the internet, social media . . . now AI. And there will always be people who use tech in harmful ways.
For example, even this space, created to be supportive and constructive, can turn toxic if people choose to use it in mean-spirited ways. (The irony!) What I wish we spent more energy and focus on is WHY our teens turn to tech and how we teach them to use it. I’d like to shift the conversation away from fear and blame to empowerment and accountability.
Tim Gordon [APBSA] in his article “ What is the hype about Adolescence ?’ in the series Headsup for principals , comments about the series which unpacks the issues of toxic masculinity in early teenage boys via schools and social media, and how it is making waves socially and in educational circles across the world.
He continues that the series is disturbing, somewhat enlightening, and fortunately, it does not really attach blame to the boys concerned, the school per se or the parents in a direct sense. It is more a commentary (and a waving of multiple red flags) around society and how it works.
Dr Cam Caswell comes hard at parents and makes the following comments in her article:
Every generation has been convinced that the latest teen obsession would lead to their teens downfall and moral decay:
1950s: Rock n’ Roll [Elvis Presley shaking his hips > moral decay]
1950 – 1960: Comic Books [will turn kids into delinquents]
1960 – 1970: Television [too much TV will result in brain decay]
1980s: Dungeons and Dragons [satanic cults]
1990 – 2000: Video games [Mortal Kombat is making kids violent]
Today: Social Media [It is destroying an entire generation]
Parents panic, trying to shield their children from the latest ‘threat’, convinced that if they just eliminate this one thing, everything else will be okay.
Dr Caswell has listened to thousands of teenagers over the years and heard about their struggles.
What she does NOT hear is:
“I was feeling great, then I saw something on social media ,…I wanted to hurt myself or someone else“
But what she DOES hear a lot is amongst others:
Their mental health is being destroyed by real-life pressures that they carry every single day.
They feel invalidated, misunderstood and unsupported.
Screens or social media are not the root problem.
It is HOW they feel when they log on.
If they are already struggling, they are more likely to fall into toxic spaces.
If they feel supported, happy, and connected, they use social media to create, communicate and explore their interests.
Focus on building resilience, confidence and sense of belonging, especially at home.
Why? If they feel seen, heard and valued, they are less likely to get drawn into dark corners on the internet.
It is up to US to be the adults in the relationship and front up and BE THERE! We only get one chance with our children and we have to make every moment count.
References:
Christy Herselman “The Chat’
Dr Cam Caswell “ Parents we need to talk”
Tim Gordon: “ What is the hype about ‘Adolescence?’